Cultivating Self Intimacy

Our bodies have a delicious and intricate map to pleasure. I encourage my clients to stole along every path to help their lovers navigate pleasing them with ease and confidence.Hands hugging a girl in passion
Intimate self cultivation is another way to describe self pleasure since the term masturbation seems to have a negative connotation with many. Learning to please yourself is a healthy way to explore your sexuality and to understand what arouses you and brings you to heightened pleasure.
It is not fair to your lover to place your satisfaction in their skill and knowledge. No body is exactly the same so the steps to please them will not be exactly the same. One who pleases one may not be able to please you, unless you can show them how.
Where to touch: Aside from the obvious genitalia, erogenous zones are in various places on our bodies as indicated in the image, however, find what is a hot spot for you personally. You can use your hands or invest in the new technology in sex toys that feel more like flesh and have an array of features for hitting the female g-spot (approximately 2” inside towards the pelvic bone) or for men, the prostate (the man’s g-spot). There are also a host of products to help improve a well lubricated intimate experience.
How to Touch: Caress your body and pay attention to how it respond. Allow movements to guide where you go next. Use varying degrees of tempo (speed) and pressure, positions and stimulation accoutrements’ (sexy French word for stuff). Engage oral pleasure, anal teasing or gentle squeezes of the nipples. Anything that feels good to you is just that, good.
Once you know what pleases you, you are free to indulge with your partner and teach them where to go on your body map and you can both journey together to new and exciting experiences.
Guest blog by Dr. Kat Smith, DHS, ACS, America’s Intimacy Expert and author of 69 Tips to Enrich Intimacy and the Love Perspective program. For more visit