SINGLES GET RID OF THE LIST
I hear from clients on a fairly regular basis that the person I introduced them to was not anyone that they would ever pick for themselves. I’m sure it was meant to be insulting or questioning my ability, but I don’t take it that way, in fact, I always want my clients out of their comfort zone. Clearly the things that you have been doing up to this point are failing in one way or another.
We have all been guilty of it at time or another. We put together a dream list of what our “ideal” partner would look like, do for a living, or what hobbies we would enjoy together. This is all great and fun to dream about, but when it comes time to really think about who our next mate will be, we have to do something radical, something completely different than what we think we should be doing…. GET RID OF THE LIST!!!
Now, I’m not saying that you can’t a have a few deal breakers or things you’d like to see in a partner, but sitting in front of someone, running down a list of what they are lacking based on ideals and not reality has got to stop. Think of the last date you went on….Were you really present? Did you actually give him or her a chance? More than likely you were running down a list of questions in your mind or thinking about 100 ways to tell yourself that this individual was NOT the one for you. You were hoping he’d be 6ft. tall or that her hair was a little bit longer, but these are things that at the end of the day are superficial, and they definitely won’t keep us warm at night.
I encourage you, the next time you go out, to throw the list out of the window and allow yourself to truly be engaged and present. Ask questions, without searching for the fault in their answers and actually consider someone who may not live up to all of your preconceived expectations, but rather is a healthy, happy, well adjusted person who just might sweep you off your feet!
Guest Blog by Donni Garcia, Personal Matchmaker & Certified Dating Coach