The Baby Boomer Dating Scene
If you are 45+, divorced or widowed, with teens or young adult children and wondering how you’re going to get “out there” again, please don’t give up! There are important strategies to dating and while things are a lot different than when you were a teenager, with a little guidance, your experience can be very positive and successful.
Here are some things to consider if you are back in the dating scene, but need help clearing away the roadblocks.
1. Be sure you are ready to date. Ask yourself what changes you need to make so that the dating experience will be successful. Are you waiting for the kids to be in college before you feel comfortable going out again? Do you have to reassess your financial situation to take on the additional expenses of dating? Do you have the time to date or is your job all encompassing? The answers to these questions may inhibit your chances for a successful experience, unless you make changes or become more flexible in your thinking.
2. Where are the best places to meet someone special? Obviously, you want to go where you feel most comfortable. Be aware that you can meet guys/gals almost anywhere and that includes the supermarket, the beach, a bookstore, religious outings, adult education classes, gym, special interest groups, wine-tasting event, seminars, dog park, parties and friendly gatherings, excursions, waiting in line at the drug store, and, of course, online dating. You get the picture. The point is to be open and receptive so that if someone strikes up a conversation, and they seem interesting, you will be willing to continue the conversation in another casual venue.
3. Prepare yourself for dating. Brush up on interesting topics to talk about so that the conversation goes smoothly, without any awkward pauses. Always look your best, by maintaining good grooming habits and keeping clothes stylish and appropriate. Remember, don’t wear trendy clothes that are not a good fit for your body type. Be practical, but stylish.
4. Pick a safe, busy environment for your first official date. Perhaps you can meet for lunch in a popular restaurant. If you feel somewhat uncomfortable, be sure to announce early on that you have plans for later in the day, so that you have an “out” if the experience is not to your liking.
5. The pace for the relationship is always based on the woman’s time line. This means that things should progress according to her level of comfort and patience is the key word for both of you. The dating experience does not have to be a struggle or make you feel weary. If you maintain the right perspective and feel good about yourself, you will not be disappointed. Do the inner work first, psyching yourself to have fun! In fact, when you least expect it, you will probably meet Mr./Ms. Right and be on the road to true love again.
Guest Blog by Amy Sherman, MA, is a Relationship/Dating Coach and the founder of Baby Boomers’ Network. She can be reached at http://www.yourbabyboomersnetwork.com. Amy is co-author of “99 things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 and Yes, 60! http://www.womendatingafter40.com