Why Being a Giver is Overrated


Allowing yourself to receive may sound like a very easy thing to do, though for a great many it is extremely difficult. The type of “receiving” I’m talking about is the “let others do for you” kind that just seems to go against the nature of most caregivers and healers. While others may not feel worthy of good things being done for them or accolades and compliments bestowed upon them. And people who are just too damn busy to let any type of receiving occur.

People with huge hearts who do for others generally find it tougher than most to relax and let themselves be pampered or tended to. They find great joy in taking care of others and would rather be on the “giving” end in most situations.

While we all let others lives come before our own at times. One of the most important things we can ever do for ourselves is to let ourselves feel loved and appreciated. When we allow others to give to us and care for us we are actually giving them the gift of joy that we feel when doing for them. A completely selfless and selfish act at the same time. Selfishness in this respect reflects nothing negative. Only good things come from letting ourselves feel cared for and nurtured. And don’t we all deserve good things? 

Yes. Yes we do, is the answer to the above question. We, as living creatures on this earth, deserve to feel joy, love, pleasure, excitement, nurturing and worshiping from self and sometimes from others as well. It is all part of the human experience to receive on the levels of body, mind and soul.

The receiving of PLEASURE is fundamental to the human experience. Our bodies, minds and spirits are designed to receive pleasure. We are designed to feel excitement through physical sensation that acts on these three levels of body, mind and soul. And while pleasure of course, has different meanings to different people, it is something that we need from self and crave from others.

However, just because receiving pleasure is needed and desired, doesn’t mean it is not still a scary situation for a lot of women and men. To open one’s self up on a deeply intimate level and allow another to physically adore you and worship you, is a terrifying thought. Fears of that type of vulnerability are what denies our “Inner Child” nurturing and freedom to express it’s true sensual nature. If one is unable to receive physical and sexual pleasure, this can sometimes be a result of an incident or history of sexual abuse. For whatever the reasons, the receiving of pleasure does not come naturally and needs to be nurtured, explored and developed.

For those of you who identify with the above paragraphs, no matter what the reasons, I encourage you to give yourself a break. To take time off from your normal roles and just allow. The “allowing” part is the key. Nobody is disputing whether or not you deserve it, but you. By letting go and allowing, we are giving to our Inner Child. We are telling her/him that it is time to play. Also by letting go and allowing, we invite new and beautiful sensations into our lives. We give ourselves the permission to explore our true desires as they are awakened. It also promotes a deeper connection with lovers as they are allowed to express their love to the other without restriction.

Deeply spiritual and ecstatic physical awakenings can occur by almost too easy act of allowing yourself to let go and ride the waves of pleasure that flow freely and naturally. Blissful journeys begin with a deep breath and a sense of knowing that you deserve more.

Guest blog by Paul Bagge Sex & Intimacy Coach, Spiritual Counselor, Massage Therapist. For more information visit http://www.ecstaticsensations.com/